If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Randomize
