so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize