no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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