i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
