I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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