he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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