She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize
