Well douche your snatch and let's go!
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
