Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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