help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
