Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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