he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
