I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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