take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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