1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
