he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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