If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
My liver just broke up with me...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
