He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
