wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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