Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
