I didn't shave. On purpose
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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