It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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