Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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