Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
