Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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