what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
