i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
