Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
