I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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