I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
