were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
