i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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