im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
