I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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