Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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