i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
