i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
