why didn't you poke me back
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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