failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
