Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
