My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
MIDGETS
????
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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