Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
