he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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