are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
