Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
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