There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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