I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
