Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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