Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
