I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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