I can text with my tongue
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize