Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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