I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
