I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
