chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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