i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
