I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
3pm strippers are depressing
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Randomize
