That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
