your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
