I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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