I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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