I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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